Sometimes a film, gig or sex-positive puppet show is so excruciating that awarding it one star just isn’t damning enough. How do writers who’ve written zero-star reviews feel about the worst shows they’ve ever seen now?
It’s harder to write about something you love than something you hate. But what is often forgotten is that the axiom can loop back on itself. Trying to write about something that leaves you bewildered, wondering how you sat through something with no redeeming features, can mean staring at a blank page for quite some time. It is under such conditions that the zero-star review is born.
The challenge is to stop it becoming a torrent of fury about the waste of your time and the talents of the people involved (or the corruption of civilisation itself, if you are dealing with a reality show, which is frequently the case). It’s best to get that out of the way in a first draft or a WhatsApp screed to a patient friend, family member or spouse. Then you can try to create a piece that is worthwhile – even if its subject is not.
