Dramas like this help people to feel less alone (photo: WikipediaCommons)
Pregnancy stories are assumed to end in a live birth after nine months, more or less. Any other outcome is viewed as a failure. The shame attached to “failure” is one of the reasons why miscarriage and abortion are so difficult to talk about in our society.
And for those who are trying for a baby, the grief of early miscarriage is under-recognised—because there is no baby to mourn.
Babies is a six-part drama about a couple who experience recurrent miscarriages. The first two episodes are very slow, as we follow the couple through their hospital appointments and scans.
They seem loving enough, joking and chatting. But I kept thinking, why are they talking like they’re on their first date?
Gradually, it becomes clear that they have retreated to this surface‑level connection because they don’t know how to communicate their emotions.
Stephen—played by Paapa Essiedu—was raised with a “keep calm and carry on” attitude and thinks it’s his job to be positive and optimistic, regardless of how he feels inside.
Lisa—played by Siobhan Cullen—shifts from hopeful to heartbroken to angry as her own losses add up while her friends have children and join the special club she feels excluded from.
We see the couple go through anger, depression, fear, bickering, drinking too much—all while trying to maintain a regular sex life in the hope of getting pregnant again.
They are counterposed by a second couple, Stephen’s insufferably immature friend Dave and his new girlfriend Amanda. They are an odd couple whose relationship only begins to make sense later in the series.
Dave is already a father, but his strained relationship with his young son, who he sees once a fortnight, reminds us that a “successful pregnancy” is no guarantee of happiness. Being a parent requires work and emotional maturity.
If you have the time and patience, Babies does an excellent job of reflecting the emotional journey of pregnancy loss.
At times I felt so frustrated with the characters that I wanted to shake them through my TV screen. Then I remembered how common it is for people to avoid emotions by making small talk or cracking jokes—I’ve done it myself.
Dramas like this help people to feel less alone or to be better able to talk to their friends and family.
It is also a reminder that pregnancy is not a fairy tale with a pre-determined happy ending, but a complex bodily experience with multiple possible outcomes.
- Babies is available on the BBC iPlayer
