The South African-born New Zealand comedian reflects on how her traumatic childhood shaped her humour and refusing to roast her 13-year-old daughter’s friends
Urzila Carlson will always remember her first joke. She was eight years old and her parents were divorcing after years of abuse at the hands of her violent father. But in 1980s South Africa, divorce was scandalous – never mind that her father once hunted his own family with a handgun (they were whisked to safety by a savvy neighbour), or that he would beat her with a sjambok, an Afrikaner stock whip. At school, other children teased Carlson about the divorce while the teachers pressed her for details. When she complained at home, her mother told her exactly what to say if they asked again.
When the next teacher asked, eight-year-old Carlson looked up and said: “Miss, it’s my dad’s fault. My mom really, really wanted to be a widow but my dad wouldn’t drink the poison.”
